Stones

I was listening to a song by Jason Upton called “Stones” this morning.  Now, if you’re not familiar with Jason Upton – he is one of the most unique worship leaders that I’ve ever encountered.  If I had to classify him in a genre, I’d probably put him into the “prophetic worship” category, which I understand means that I’ve lost at least ten of you reading because there’s a lot of craziness and silliness that is also labeled in that category.  But from listening to his music [I have 13 of his CDs] and also from seeing him twice live, I truly believe that he is someone who literally sings prophetically – singing God’s right-now heart over the people who are listening.  As you'll hear if you listen to "Stones," a good deal of the time he writes/sings spontaneously - this song wasn't written before he started singing it live, and it was only recorded once.  If you’re interested in starting to listen to him, let me know so that I can direct you to one of the more ‘normal’ albums first :).  He takes some getting used to :).

So anyway, I’m listening to “Stones,” which is one of those songs that made me say, “what on earth is THIS??” the first ten or so times that I heard it.  [This is not abnormal when listening to Jason Upton.]  But a couple of years ago, somewhere around the eleventh time that I heard the song – something just JUMPED out at me and smacked me in the face and it became one of the most profound songs that I’ve ever heard.  This song isn’t Scripture, obviously – but the principles that he talks about are Biblically sound and there are plenty of Scriptures that can reinforce them.

He starts off the song by singing “in the midst of the Presence, there’s the stones.” If you’re scratching your head and saying “huh?” – you’re in good company. But let me take you through it as it became clear to me…

He goes on to talk about the stone that the world’s rejected – the chief cornerstone. So okay, this isn’t too bad – he’s saying that in the midst of the presence of God, we find Christ.  So far, so good, right?  Then he starts saying that the stone kills the giant.  Okayyyyy, so now we’ve got David & Goliath imagery here alongside of Christ imagery… so… the stone (which is Christ) is found in the presence of God, and even though that stone is what the world has rejected, it’s that very stone that we’ve been given to use to kill the giants in our lives.

Deep… deep… but he’s not done.

Then he starts defining the stone in another way – yes, it is Christ – but then he also begins to define the stone as the way of the Lord, the fear of the Lord. And “fear” not meaning terror or anxiety – meaning complete awe of the majesty and glory of God that produces in us absolute honor, respect, reverence and confidence.

Well, that definitely makes sense in the David & Goliath context.  When David picked up those stones to kill the giant, I always used to think “wow, that took an ENORMOUS amount of faith to do that!”  But now I think a little differently.  Of course, yes, it still did take an enormous amount of faith – but I don’t think David saw it that way.  I think that David feared [respected, revered, honored] the Lord so much… and his view of God because of that fear was so BIG… that it felt perfectly normal for him to grab five stones and a sling to take down the man that had paralyzed the entire Israelite army.

Think about it in terms of our own lives.  When we’re afraid or hesitant to do something, it’s usually because of a lack of confidence in the outcome.  I remember at the transitions retreat watching people completely freak out before going on the Giant Swing [literally exactly what it sounds like if you aren’t familiar] because it looked so intimidating… so high… so dangerous.  And then I watched those same people come back the following year, and the following, and by the third or fourth year they were strolling up to that swing with total swag and zero fear.  What changed?  The swing didn’t.  No, their confidence level in that swing did.  They had experienced it for themselves time and time again and they began to truly know that the swing was not going to fail them.

And David, after he had experienced the Lord for himself on so many other occasions, had gained that same confidence.  This was the same God who had helped him kill a lion and bear that threatened his flock – so why would this “uncircumcised Philistine” be any different?  To David, picking up those stones wasn’t this huge, gutsy move – it was logical.  His fear of God, his confidence in God, was so big that he couldn’t even understand why the Israelite army was even afraid of this guy.

In other words – because he feared the Lord… he feared nothing else.

So back to our song… in the midst of the presence of God, we find the stone – which is Christ, because it’s only through Christ that we even have access to God – but specifically, we’re asked to PICK UP the stone that the whole world has rejected – which denotes picking up the fear of God. And it’s in picking that up that we… WE… are able to kill giants.

My absolute favorite, favorite line in this song is this:

There it is!!
In the midst of the Presence, the giant-killer
It’s the way of the fear of the Lord
Pick it up!

I love how there’s even an element of revelation in the song itself – as if suddenly a light switch had been turned on.  “There it is!”  “Hey look, here’s our weapon!”  If we would truly, truly, truly learn to fear God… there is absolutely NOTHING that would cause us fear in our lives, and there would be no giant that could not be taken down.  We would go anywhere, do anything for the Lord no matter how crazy or radical or even dangerous.  There would be nothing that Satan could hold over our heads and say “ah, but I’m holding you back here.” But this fear of the Lord, according to this song, isn’t just something that is given to all Christians just because they’re saved.

We have to pick it up.

And one of those most interesting things that this song brings out is HOW we do that.  Not by striving.  Not by begging God to give it to us [although prayer plays a role].  In fact, it’s not so much a HOW, but a WHERE… in the midst of the Presence. Intimacy.  Solitude.  Time sitting before God and just simply KNOWING Him.  I can imagine that this was probably imparted to David during the many long hours he spent alone with his harp and his God as he tended the sheep.  The fear of the Lord isn’t something that we can achieve, it’s something that must be imparted to us – and the only way for impartation to happen is through sustained intimacy.  And it’s not a quick process, for those of you who are like me and are long-sufferingly-challenged.  As much as we’d like spiritual growth and understanding to happen like Neo’s kung-fu instant download in The Matrix – it doesn’t most of the time.  But it’s only through this process that we can begin to truly experience the fear of God – which not only is a giant-killer, but also the beginning of wisdom… which is another blog post entirely :).

Do you have giants in your life?  Are there circumstances on the outside, or strongholds on the inside, that seem absolutely impossible to defeat?  Are you battling the same battle over and over again to the point where you’ve actually began to accept it as simply part of who you are?  Don’t do it!  There is no giant that can’t be brought down with the right stones – and that very stone is the fear of God that is found in His Presence through Christ. 

If the giant is internal – the fear of God is absolutely the answer. If we fear God truly, we cannot fear or desire anything else but Him.  Through a true, genuine fear of the Lord – other strongholds/temptations/desires will just naturally fall by the wayside.  We won’t have to strive and wrestle – we will no longer even DESIRE those things once the fear of God has taken its rightful place in our hearts.  If the giant is external – there’s no guarantee that the fear of God will instantly solve whatever problem you face – but God is more interested in changing your character than changing your circumstances.  In His Presence, YOU will change.  Your circumstances will no longer affect your joy or your praise when you truly pick up the fear of the Lord, and you will be able to boast in your afflictions as Paul did – because you will delight that His power is actually perfected and brought to fulfillment through those very circumstances.  Your circumstances will be the very thing that will bring Him glory – and with the fear of the Lord, that alone will be your deepest desire.  And once that happens, whether the external circumstance changes or not, the giant has been slain.

It’s such a simple thing, a stone.  It’s no wonder that the world has rejected it.  But it’s waiting for us if we are willing to look for it.  That first line now makes a little more sense…. “in the midst of the Presence, there’s the stones.”  And those stones can only be found there – the fear of God can only be found in the presence of God.  It cannot be taught or even caught – it must be imparted from the Lord Himself.

I believe that a true, genuine fear of God is the only thing that will be able to truly change US, our ministries, our city, our nation and our world.  I’m so far from it.  At times I feel like it’s almost unattainable.  But most of the time, when that feeling occurs, it’s because I’m not spending enough time in the Presence… so the stones seem distant and small.

Are you, like me, tired of being intimidated by your giants?  Do you strive to be like David and not the Israelite army?  Enter into His presence through the name of Jesus and pick up the stones… the fear of the Lord… and watch those giants begin to fall.

from Jason Upton's 2005 album "Open Up The Earth."

Background vocals by Jason's wife Rachel Upton.

Lyrics below are often repeated, only main lyrics are written.

Listen to "Stones" by clicking here. 

in the midst of the Presence, there’s the stones
in the midst of the Presence, I give you stones
in the midst of the River, I give you stones
that will kill the giant

in the midst of the presence, there’s the stones
that the world’s rejected
that the world’s discarded
in the midst of the presence, there’s the stones
that the world rejected
there’s the stone, the chief cornerstone
in the midst of the presence there’s the stone that the world rejected

and it kills the giant
there’s the stone that killed the giant
do you see what I see?
there’s the stone that the world rejected and it kills the giant

there it is!
pick up the way of the Lord
pick it up!
the way of the Lord
the fear of the Lord

there it is!!
in the midst of the presence, the giant killer
it’s the way of the fear of the Lord
pick it up!

Leave It All On The Court

As I get ready to re-launch my blog in 2012, I'm going back through past posts that I've written but never published and publishing them for the first time.  When I first wrote this [Spring 2009], two months after I began working in full-time ministry, I had no idea what was ahead of me and the trials I would face.  I can only say that this article is MORE relevant today in my own life than ever before.  I pray that it encourages you and challenges you to leave it all on the court.

*****

[march 2009]

I grew up playing pretty much every sport imaginable - gymnastics starting at age 2, softball at age 4 (okay, tee-ball), then soccer, basketball, volleyball, ultimate frisbee, you name it. I was actually a pretty mellow and even fearful child... except when I was in the gym or on the field.  The field, the court, the diamond - that was when this invisible switch would flip inside of me and I would suddenly become The Girl Who Knew No Fear.  I was the basketball player who would dive into the stands to save a loose ball from going out-of-bounds - the gymnast who would try backflipping on the balance beam without a spotter - the goalie who would stop a ball with my FACE before letting the opposing team score.  And yes, I really did all three of those things :).

There was a catch-phrase that my basketball team would always use when we were getting amped up before games: "Leave it all on the court." And that meant that we were vowing to each other that we were going to give nothing less than 100% out there from the first buzzer until the final one. We were saying that we were going to give every last ounce of physical and mental energy that we had and leave everything that we had out there between the baselines - which sometimes would literally be blood, sweat and tears. Anything less than giving 100% was completely unacceptable to us. We knew that we might not always win a division title - but when we got to the end of our season, we wanted to be able to look back at EVERY minute of EVERY game and say, "... yup, I left it all on the court. I gave it everything that I had." To have regrets, or to think "man, I wonder what would have happened if I had just played more aggressively, or if I had worked a little harder during practice, or if I hadn't let that taller player intimidate me, or if I had just had confidence that I was going to make that free throw" - that would be something that we would have to live with forever. We couldn't get those moments back.

Fast forward to today.  I may not be playing organized basketball anymore [although I'm always down for pickup!] - but now I'm playing the ultimate Game.  Now, I'm on the field as a follower of Jesus Christ... and so are many of you. So... what's our mentality? Have we made a commitment to Christ and to one another that we're gonna leave it all on the court? Are we exerting ALL of our effort when we serve Christ? Is serving Him the single most important thing in our lives? How are we spending our free time? How are we spending the money that God's given us? How are we tending to the relationships that God's given us? Are we giving our best to the ministry or ministries that we serve in? Cause eventually, our season is going to be over. And unlike sports teams who have regular schedules and four-year programs, we have no idea when our last day on the active roster might be. But whenever that day comes... and this is part that gets me... we are going to have ETERNITY to look back at the years that we "played" here on earth.

Eternity.

That's forever.

And to have to live forever saying "man, I wonder what would have happened if I had just ran after God more aggressively, or I had just worked a little harder in my ministries, or if I hadn't let that circumstance intimidate me, or if I had just had the confidence that God would give me the words to speak to my unsaved loved ones"? To have to life FOREVER with those thoughts? Now THAT'S something to be afraid of.

We can get so consumed by our life here on earth that it's easy to spend the majority of our day with not a second thought towards eternity. It's so easy for us to subconsciously (or even consciously) think that it's really all about our lives now. We're grindin' at work, thinking about what TV shows are coming on tonight, handling our business and getting up the next day to do it all over again. Of course we have to work and/or go to school and take care of our responsibilities - please don't misinterpret what I'm saying to mean that we should all quit our jobs and pray 24 hours a day. But even those things can be done with an eternal perspective. Is our job just a way to make a buck, or are we seeing that as our current mission field? When we're out with friends, are we putting our "Christian card" away for the night - or are we thinking about how we can build one another up as iron sharpens iron? Most people just don't think like that anymore. That sounds too intense. But is it? Is it too intense to think that Christ, who gave up everything for us, actually cares about EVERY moment of our lives - including when we're pushing numbers on the job or playing Wii with friends?

Call me crazy, but I think complacency - not scandals in the pulpit or misuses of the Holy Spirit or anything else – is one of the strongest ropes that's tied around Christianity in our nation today. Satan's been around for a minute - he's gotten wise to this weapon. He can't get us into drugs, sex, lying, cheating, violence and gossip? No problem. He'll just let us get comfortable with your day-to-day existence and make us complacent with our once-a-week church attendance and grace before meals. Leave it all on the court? Giving our time, resources, energy to serving God as much as we possibly can? Let's not get all radical, now. Well - I don't know about you, but if I only have a few years on this earth and then eternity to spending looking back at this little blip in my existence as the ONLY time that I can truly work for the Lord? Yeah, I'm okay with radical.

I'll admit that I haven't always left it all on the court. I'll admit that there have been times when I've held back and, metaphorically speaking, haven't sacrificed my body to go after that loose ball going out of bounds. But it's pretty cool how God sets it up that our greatest satisfaction in life will come from leaving it all on the court and giving everything we have to Him - regardless of how difficult it is.   Last night [March 2009], after BT Kids Night was over, I was a mess. I was sleep-deprived, emotionally drained, dehydrated and physically exhausted. The past few weeks had been incredibly difficult for me on top of planning and facilitating this enormous event - and the minute it was over, everything just hit me at once. I left the church and walked home with tears coming down my face and literally nothing left in me... but through my tears I was able to say, "God, I left it all on the court with this one. I gave everything I had to You."

Can I urge each and every one of you reading this to leave it all on the court for Jesus? Will you give 100% to everything that you do for Him? Will you sacrifice those things that are "permissible but not necessarily beneficial" for things that will bring in a harvest for God's kingdom? Your flesh will fight you. The enemy will fight you. Training isn't easy and it isn't natural. You're not always going to wake up in the morning and say "WOO HOO!! Can't WAIT to pray today!!" But if you make a decision that, by God's grace, you're going to do something no matter how you feel... watch how God provides the grace that you need to do it.

If every Christian were to make a decision to give 100% to the kingdom of God, our entire world would be shaken. We've heard that said before and it's become almost like an "if only" statement and nothing more. So let's stop the wishful thinking and start with us. Nothing held back. No regrets. And when our season is over, let's be able to say that we left it all on the court.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize" (1 Corinthians 9:24-27).

Maybe Someone Knows

I've been thinking a lot lately about the homeless.  It's winter now, and it's cold, and there are thousands of people living in my city that do not have a place to sleep at night - and that bothers me.  I think, in theory, it bothers most of us.  But it's also a complex issue and there aren't any easy solutions - and I've struggled for many years on how Jesus would want us, as Christians, to respond to the issue of homelessness in our city.  I stumbled on this note that I wrote almost four years ago after an experience that I had with a homeless woman, and the end of it pretty much sums up exactly what I would have written if I had encountered her today.  This is not a post with answers.  This is a post with questions, and questions can make us uncomfortable - but if there's one thing I know, it's that God often lives in the uncomfortable.  Maybe through our questioning, we can find Him here.